Have you heard?? YouTube stars are writing books now. They have branded makeup and merchandise and stalkers. (YouTube stars, they’re just like us.)
There are many things that I, a card-carrying millennial, don’t fully understand about YouTube, but foremost among them are “haul” videos. (Well that and its agoraphobic cousin, the “unboxing” video). What is a haul video, you ask? A haul video is a YouTube user sitting, standing, moving about an eclectically decorated bedroom or whimsical bookshelf, holding up things he or she recently acquired.
The video doesn’t show the aforementioned person shopping—no, that’s material for the linked “vlog” channel, which also features videos of singing and dancing to music in a car. Often while driving. (Please take a moment to appreciate the many hazards on the road you face each day and add to that a person performing on camera while attempting to execute a left handed turn.)
A haul video is, quite simply, a 21st century show-and-tell of recently purchased goods. The items are rarely exciting—a bottle of nail polish here, a Forever 21 tank top there. So, in case anyone is curious about the wild and exciting purchases of a New York book editor, fasten your seat belts. Here are the recent purchases I would feature in a haul video:
1. Maybelline mascara
Purchased at the Duane Reade in my office building because I couldn’t locate my favorite Make Up For Ever mascara (free Sephora sample for my birthday two years ago).
2. Dora the Explorer band aids
From an excursion to the Walgreens at the bottom of my apartment building. I popped a blister; these were on sale.
3. Anthropologie dress
Cute striped top, black skirt, material with some give. Does not need to be dry cleaned. I plan to wear it on vacation.
4. New iPhone charging cord
I asked an Apple employee if there was something I could do to prevent cord fraying, and he confessed that he thinks they’re intentionally manufactured to break.
5. My Time Warner internet bill
You’re watching/reading/laughing at this? That’s because I pay my bills in a timely fashion.
6. A six-pack—of Evian water
I’m a bougie millennial, okay?
I admit, I did it for the ‘gram.
8. Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld and Being Mortal by Atul Gawande
A modern interpretation of Pride and Prejudice and a book about end-of-life care, which is pretty much all you need to know about my reading tastes.
They took four hours and two sore arms to assemble. I can now stop eating my meals on the couch.
How else do you think I watched enough haul videos to write this?